Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Finding my place...

Over the last week I have been trying to get myself inspired; trying to find my place in life.I struggle with being a stay at home wife, I can't have children so it's not like I'm preparing to be a mom. Sometimes I think that my husband and I made a wrong decision when we chose for me to leave my job. Is there something that I should be doing, is there a career that would make me happier? Is the really the place that I am supposed to be in? While trying to find my place I felt myself gravitating toward organizations that help others, that teach others, that provide comfort for others... so I thought to myself  "there is a higher power that is trying to tell me something here".. I took a step outside of my life for a second and just took a peek inside. For some reason I decided to second guess fate, as if I really had the power to change what fate has decided for me..
Upon a moment of reflection I asked myself that soul-searching question that we all ask ourselves at times "what have I accomplished?". Since leaving my "job" last November I have started my own business and with that I have reignited a passion that hasn't been seen for a very long time. Then I asked myself an even tougher question "am I successful?" this question was honestly really hard for me to answer... I've sold some of my art work, I've donated some, given some away to friends and family and even thrown away a few things that we're...well... let's just say failed experiments. Do I make any money doing it, I am deeper in the hole financially that I was when I started. So why am I so happy? I'm not famous, I don't have money or power. I have an education, I will be paying for it for the rest of my life... but, did I need it to do what I'm doing now? probably not. So what do I have? Love. Plain and simple. I love what I do and I feel that a little piece of that love gets sealed up in each piece that I create.Sometimes when I have too much love it spills out and takes the embodiment of the charitable work that I do. In the last 6 months I've turned my business "passionately pink for the cure", organized a shoe drive to provide those without an opportunity a chance to break free, I've donated and an still fund raising for disaster relief, I'm still raising money for breast cancer awareness, and recently I've started taking myself in another direction and researching a partnership with another charitable organization that helps women in war torn counties...
I realized that this is my calling, this is my place in life. The days I feel the best in life are,'t the ones that are about me. It's the days that I announce to people I want your old shoes and they respond with 100 pairs. It's the days that I say I'm donating half of the profits to breast cancer research and someone gives me all they can or says that they want to support me any way possible. It's the day that I see someone made a donation in my honor or the day that my spare change makes a difference in someone's life. It's the day I tell my husband "I want the 11 year old dog from the shelter" and he just shakes his head and smiles.
After 27 years, I have finally found my place in life and in the words of Oprah, "It lights you up and lets you know you are exactly where you are supposed to be". I finally feel that I am where I'm supposed to be!

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