Friday, May 20, 2011

Flying by the seat of my pants...

Have you ever had the feeling that nothing in your life was in your control? The last couple of months have really started to take a toll on me. I'm a very "Type A" person and I pretty much have a plan for everything, I live my life by check lists and I plan events out months in advance... well when my husband came home a few weeks ago and said "ummm honey, I'm pretty sure we're moving to California..." I think I had a mini stroke!! His company is being bought out by a larger one and the parent company is based in California. Every day I badger him for more information and I'm starting to annoy myself... It's like my life is on hold until I hear some snippet of information. I'm holding my breath waiting for the news and I am pretty sure that I'm a rather unhealthy shade of purple by now!
This anticipation has an effect on every aspect of my life, literally. I find myself wondering random stuff like: should I stock up on groceries? can I pack that cake pan? Is it too early to pack away the guest room? Then there's the big questions like: when will we go? where will we live? how do I find doctors for us and our dogs? I think that I might be making myself a little bit crazy but I just can't live without a plan!!
All of this craziness is not really conducive to being creative... I've really been struggling with starting new projects and I'm super hesitant to buy new supplies, because what happens when I have to pack it all up? Heaven forbid I have to put something in a box that isn't ready to transport... and then the more worrisome aspect; how will I find it after we get settled??
Adding insult to injury, our newest family member Toby is having some medical issues. I made the decision to schedule him for surgery (he had it on tuesday) to remove a couple of "masses" from his body. One, the size of a baseball from his chest and another, the size of a gum ball from his head. Currently they are out to the lab being tested and I am nervously awaiting results. During all of this chaos he also had some x-rays taken and the vet discovered that he has a kidney stone...I feel so bad for my poor little old dog! So far he is doing great with his recovery. He's a trooper. I, on the other hand am like the nervous parent of a newborn... trying to protect his stitches, making sure he doesn't play too hard with our other dog and of course awaiting the news on the test results.
All of this has left me with the feeling that I am precariously flying by the seat of my pants and the safety net is nowhere to be seen...My philosophy in life is that you are meant to learn lessons, the lesson here: close your eyes, don't look down and wait for the net.... it has to be there...right?
...and for the record, it was too early to pack the cake pan, I just opened 8 boxes trying to find the darn thing!

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